Chapter Five: The Murky Depths
I sat in Ali Payne's living room feeling uneasy. She had brought out every single piece of information regarding her brother's hit and run for me to see. I'd lied to her, like I did to everyone in this damn town, I told her I wanted to do an article in the Gazette entitled "Seven Months On, Still No Justice For John Wallace!", and she was more than happy to contribute. What a dick I'd turned out to be!
She told me all about his death, the investigation, how it began to trail off and then finally come to a halt a few weeks ago. She also described how her marriage broke down over her determination to find her brother's killer. She and her husband, David Payne, were planning to adopt when John was killed, they couldn't have children of their own. Now all Ali had left was her campaign to have justice for John, and she felt my article would help her with that. Yep, I was a real turd! Using this poor woman for my own peace of mind!
"Nobody knows why John..." She trailed off, "...I mean was it an accident? Or did they target him? The car that witnesses saw, a red Nissan Juke, was found on derelict ground burnt out!" My heart began to pound in my chest, my car was a Citroen C4...and it was silver!
"Wait, are you...saying...he was hit by a red Nissan?" Ali nodded.
"Yes, a couple reported it stolen the next day. They were questioned in great detail, but they had been in the honeymoon suite of a nearby hotel all night. Room service vouched for them."
"So, you're telling me that...John was hit by a stolen red Nissan Juke that was later found destroyed?" Ali nodded again.
"Yeah, you see they don't tell you that do they? The papers! But my old friend from school worked at the San Myshuno station, and she let me in to look at the case file...she got fired shortly after!" Ali looked down at the ground guiltily, "Caldy went berserk, told me I'd jeopardised the case!" She shook her head sadly, then continued, "The case slowly died, they concluded that it must have been joyriders who were out of control, then panicked and burned the car to destroy evidence." She referred to Mark Caldwell as Caldy, like they'd been friends for a very long time. Being her younger brother's friend and brother-in-law, it made sense.
"The street was quiet, not many folk about, the witnesses that were about said they were only aware of the whole thing after hearing a car approaching at speed and a dull thud, it's all in here!" Ali pointed at her hand-written notes, "I have a photographic memory, so as soon as I got chucked out of the station, I wrote everything down! I didn't want Fiona's firing to be for nothing. She was the desk seargant, until I got her the boot!" She blinked back tears, then smiled sadly at me, "I want you to have these!" She gestured towards her folder of papers and notes.
"Oh no I..."
"Please!" She pleaded, "I can't go through this anymore, but if you can find who did this to John...then please take these and give me peace! Our parents are long dead, he was all I had left!" She wept, looking off into the distance.
"Do you...do you have contact with his widow?" She looked at me wide eyed, as if I'd asked the most absurd question.
"SARAH?" She squeaked, "Oh no, Sarah and I we...we never clicked, if you get my meaning." Interesting! "No, er, I never believed that John truly loved her...it all seemed...so false!" And now it was turning a little more sinister than I liked.
"False?" I questioned, "How so?" Ali sat in silence for a long time, then finally answered,
"Let's just say, she wasn't his type! And we'll leave it at that! Let's not tarnish his memory!" A very odd thing to say! I nodded in agreement and thanked her for her help.
I left with a folder full of more questions. And I was beginning to feel extremely vulnerable! I held in my hands papers that would possibly land me in hot water with a lot of people...Sarah being one of them for starters!
I'd not seen or heard from Adam in a few days, not since his "housewarming" on Monday night. Una was being distant with me, Grant was giving me the eye, and Mark had come by to check on me a couple of times through the week. I sat on my couch, thinking about John, something I didn't do as often as I used to...before Adam came to town.
Yes it was true that this blond, mysterious man had a place in my heart. Una was right, I did have a little thing for him, but I felt like I was betraying John! It hadn't even been a year and here I was, having my head turned by an ex-colleague of his! Adam was handsome, clever and kind. Everything a woman looked for in a man. But he was also guarded, distant and shy. His confession the other night about his fiancee and best friend, it broke my heart! How could someone do that to him?
I was so lucky with John, we only ever had eyes for each other! I don't know what I would have done if that had been me, but it would never have been me, John was faithful! I decided to send Adam a text, just to see how he was doing.
It didn't take long for him to reply, and his answer pleasantly surprised me! We texted a little before we'd set an actual date, and I felt guilty! Guilty for deceiving Una...and for betraying John's memory! But I liked the person I was when I was around Adam, I was a young woman all over again...no longer a widow! Adam treated me like a brand new person, and I needed that right now!
When he appeared just before 8pm, my heart was all a flutter. He was really handsome, and although I didn't normally go for blonds, he was a nice exception! He smiled and waved at me as he approached, and I felt like a teenager on her first date!
When Sarah texted me, I was surprised, happily so! I'd been so busy studying John's case that I had no time for anything else all week. But when Saturday came by and I got her text, I felt the urge to see her, to talk to her! I wasn't going to tell her what I was doing, no way! But I was going to keep in touch with her, I liked her, I more than liked her...
...and that was going to become a problem further down the line! And as she smiled at me, looking so adorable, my heart pounded in my chest and all of my courage disappeared. Man she was cute! But this was going to blow up in my face, so why was I going along with this charade?
Because I wanted to be around her! Because I owed her so much, for taking everything from her! But tonight I was just going to try and forget everything else but us! Try and truly get to know this girl without her annoying friend in the way! As I got closer to her, I waved and smiled. "Hi!" I greeted her shyly.
"Hello, thanks for coming!" Hello? Who wouldn't? She was gorgeous!
"Hey, no, thank you!" We exchanged awkward talk for a few seconds before finally going inside and ordering some food.
"So Una is really into you!" Sarah smiled, as if this was amusing to her.
"I kinda got that impression, yes!" I nodded and pouted, "And I know she's your friend but..."
"You're not interested!"
"Not in the slightest!" We both laughed softly as I screwed my eyes shut and felt rather awful about it. "I mean, she's gorgeous, but...she's way too high maintenance!"
"I understand, Una isn't very subtle...or observant! You've just had your heart broken of course you're not wanting to go there!" She reassured me. No, I wasn't! As for heartbroken, yeah before I met Sarah maybe, but she'd changed all that! I would jump at the chance of making her happy, if only things were different!
"Yeah totally, I mean that's why I love spending time with you, there's no pressure and we're friends...at least...I hope we are!" She grinned and nodded enthusiastically.
"Yeah, yeah of course we are!"
"Great, because I think that's just what we both need right now, friendship and escapism!"
"You read my mind!" She said, and we sat in silence for a few moments.
My heart sank, Adam didn't want a relationship with Una, that was true...but he didn't want one full stop! Why this upset me as much as it did alarmed me. I was still married, even though John was dead, if he hadn't died I would still be married. So what was this? And why did it hurt so much for Adam to only see me as a friend?
As he chatted away about his new job at the Gazette, I stared into his blue eyes and felt a yearning. Was this a rebound? Was I using Adam as a distraction from my grief? I knew deep down that being friends was the best option. Neither of us was ready for anything else, and besides, how awkward would Adam feel knowing John albeit briefly? I had to brush these feelings away to the back of my mind, and be grateful that I had a new friend.
When he stopped talking, he looked uneasy. Suddenly he mumbled, "Do you wanna get outta here?" I smiled and nodded.
"Oh God yes!" I agreed.
We walked along the pier for a while and chatted about music, films and everything that interested us. We shared some common interests, we liked similar things, which made trying to hide my true feelings harder!
We ended up at my house after taking a long walk along the beach. "Do you want to come in? For coffee?"
"I...I don't...drink...coffee!" He blushed, and looked down at his shoes.
"Tea then?" He looked up and smiled.
"Sure!"
As Sarah made us some tea, I looked at the photo of her and John on the coffee table. It looked like their wedding day, and they looked so happy!
Sarah appeared and handed me a mug of tea. "Were you and John married long?"
"Ten years!" She answered almost immediately.
"If you don't..." She shook her head and reassured me.
"No no, it helps to talk about it."
"How did you..." I felt really out of place asking about John, but I was getting somewhere with this since Ali had given me all of her stuff, and I needed another perspective.
"He was my brother's best friend, it wasn't until he went off to Uni a boy and came back a man that he turned my head!" She reminisced. "Mark and John grew distant, more and more so as their time apart went on. When John graduated he came back here and we just...hit it off! Mark was not happy at all, but eventually he left us alone."
"We got engaged on my 21st birthday!" She smiled, "And that was the end for John and Mark!" And now she looked sad. "We got married that summer, we talked about having kids, but time flew and we were both busy with work and..." Her eyes fought back tears. "I was going to tell him that night, that..."
I sat as still as stone, I didn't know what to do! She wept a little, then wiped her face. "John wanted to have a baby, he was angry with me that morning and...well let's just say I never saw him again!" I fought the urge to vomit as I placed my cup down next to John's face and excused myself.
"I...I'm so sorry I need to go I...don't...feel...very well!" I shot out of there as fast as I could leaving her looking stunned!
Oh God, I'd scared him away! He ran out of my house so fast! What an idiot! I had settled for friendship and now, thanks to my big mouth, I wasn't even going to have that!
What was I thinking, going on about John like that? Crying like that? No wonder Adam wanted to get out! I felt like such a fool, how desperate and pathetic did I look? And now I'd lost Adam forever!
Now that's an interesting little twist. I wonder if he really did it or only thinks he did it and John was already dead when his car ran over him. Still, he's acting like a stalker and I can't like him. Whether he did it or not, he ran away from the site. Let's face it, all he's doing now is wrong and he's only trying to silence his guilty conscience.
ReplyDeleteLies aren't good, and whether he did anything or not, the lies he has told Sarah will have consequences if they come out. Yes it is totally wrong what he's doing and he knows this, he just can't seem to keep away from her though sadly. :(
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