Ugly Heart: Chapter One

Prologue

Chapter One: Rock Bottom.

Tara Hardy drew up to the overgrown driveway and switched off her engine with a sigh. The front door to her son's house was covered with mail that he'd neglected to collect for what looked like a few days now. It was Monday, a whole weekend she'd been away and Leo hadn't bothered to venture outdoors it seemed. Grabbing the bag of messages on the passenger seat, she pulled herself out of the car and slammed the door in frustration. Leo was 37 years of age, he had his health and he had a roof over his head although if he didn't pick up his mail he would be behind with his rent! Why he insisted on hiding away was beyond her comprehension!

As she waded through the pile of envelopes to find the doormat and the spare key lying beneath it, she could hear him shuffling around inside. In the corner of her eye she spotted him shifting the blind in the living room to see who was at the door. "Leo open up, save me trying to find your spare key under this junk eh?" she shook the bag of messages at him as if to entice him to come and open the door. She waited, and sure enough moments later he had opened the door. He didn't come out, he just unlatched the Yale lock and retreated back into the darkness. Tara sighed again, she did that a lot lately, the house smelled musty and mouldy. Obviously he had let the place go while she had been away! As she shoved the door further open with her shoulder she could see Leo's dark figure shuffle over to the couch in the living room and throw himself down upon it. He was still wearing that black hoodie with black jeans and black lace-up boots. He looked like a burglar, hiding his face from the world under that damn hood of his!

The kitchen was full of dirty dishes and uneaten food. "LEO! I LEFT YOU PLENTY OF STUFF!" she shouted through to him, but all she got in return was a faint mumble. "Have you eaten anything???" she muttered to herself as she placed the bag of new food on a stool and rolled up her sleeves. After at least twenty minutes of soaking dishes and cleaning work surfaces, Tara joined her son on the couch as he stared vacantly at the television screen. As she sat beside him, she patted his knee and smiled. "Leo? Why don't we do something crazy and open the blinds eh?" he looked at her then, with panic in his blue eyes.

"Mum..." he mumbled, "...thanks for coming round but I really just want to be alone!" that hood over his head muffled his voice and she could hardly hear him. She grabbed it and pulled it back as his brown hair spilled out of it and his head jerked back. He let out a little cry, like a wounded animal and grasped at the hood, trying to put it back over his head. "What the fuck!!!" he cursed and curled up into the foetal position as far away from her on the couch as he could possibly get.

Tara growled and hoisted herself up off of the couch, marching over to the blinds she violently pulled them apart, setting the sunshine free as it beamed through the windows. Leo shot up from his spot and pushed her roughly out of the way, grasping desperately at the blinds as he struggled to pull them back together. "DON'T YOU TOUCH MY THINGS!!!" he yelled and hugged himself as he stomped off up the stairs. Tara squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears that were threatening to fall, her breathing grew faster and her heart pounded with a dull thud. She wasn't afraid of him, although since the "accident" he had become more volatile and his moods were like a yo-yo, up and down constantly. She understood why he was so depressed, she understood why he felt like his whole world had ended. But what she didn't understand was how he couldn't snap out of it! 

As she followed him up the stairs and barged into his room, strewn with papers and clothes all over the floor and his bed, she could hardly find him underneath it all. But there he was, in that foetal position again amongst the chaos. "Leo, please! Let me help you!" she pleaded as her eyes stung. It was hard for a mother to see her child like this.

"Mum, you can help me." he replied under that hood as her eyes brightened and she fought her way through the pile of clothes.

"Oh yes?"

"Yes!" he did not move as she finally reached him on the bed and sat down beside him. "You can leave me alone!" Tara let out a tiny squeak of frustration and threw a pile of clothes across the floor.

"Leo! For pity's sake! It's been seven months you've been cooped up in here! Enough is enough!!!" she yelled, waiting for him to respond but he didn't move, just lay there motionless. Finally Tara gave in and left him alone, downstairs she put on her coat and looked around the house that was once full of young people enjoying life. Now it looked like a hermit's cave! She closed the front door and climbed over the mail that still remained on the mat. She got in her car and put the key in the ignition, turning the engine on as a single tear ran down her pale cheek. "Oh Leo!" she cried as she reversed out of the driveway and headed back home to her empty house.

Tara had spent the past few days phoning her son, but he never answered. She wanted so badly to go round to the house and check he was alright, but he had requested that she leave him alone. She'd asked Charlie Morton, Leo's best friend, to check on him and he'd reported back that he'd made contact through the window and that Leo was fine. By Friday, Tara could take no more and jumped into her car in the direction of Leo's house.

The door was disappearing under the amount of mail piling up, it was worse than the last time she was there. She kicked and pushed the envelopes out of the way and banged on the door. "LEO IT'S YOUR MOTHER OPEN UP AT ONCE!!!" No sound from the house, usually she could hear him moving around but this time there was only silence. As darkness approached, Tara stepped back and tugged the doormat away from the ground and tossed it aside. Leo's spare key glinted in the sunset as she grabbed it and put it in the lock.

As she pushed the door open with all of her weight, the smell almost knocked her off of her feet. Not only was it mouldy, musty and damp, but there was another odour that made her wretch, the smell of stale vomit lingered in the air. "LEO???" she yelled hysterically. He wasn't on the couch, not in the kitchen. As she raced upstairs to his room, the stench got worse and she stopped dead in front of his bedroom door. What was she going to find? Did she want to know? Could she just walk away and call the police? Let them find whatever was behind that door? No, she couldn't! Leo was her son, her only child! She had to know!

She threw open the door, closed her eyes and waded in. "Leo?" her voice was small, she barely recognised it herself. As she opened her eyes and scanned the dark room, she spotted him sprawled on the bed amongst a pile of clothes. "LEO!" she cried, and when he didn't react to her voice, she rushed to his side. He wasn't moving, she couldn't even tell if he was breathing. The hood he always had covering his head was crumpled around his shoulders, exposing the face he fought so hard to conceal. In the dark he looked like had always did before...so angelic. An empty bottle of vodka lay on top of the side table along with a bottle of pills, also empty. He lay on his side looking peaceful, she shook him and wailed in grief. "Leeeeooooooo!!!" and as she cried out his name and continued to shake him violently, he stirred. "What have you done!" Tara whispered as her son finally showed signs of life.

To Be Continued...